17. Talking With Kids When Scary Things Happen ft. Dr. Lia Gaggino

Originally Aired: March 10, 2022

Welcome back, dads!! This week we are continuing our detour from your regularly scheduled programming because there has been such chaos in the world and I know a lot of parents are struggling to figure out how to talk to their kids about what is going on and I wanted to try to help. So I reached out to a new friend of mine who is another podcasting pediatrician who had a great episode on this topic when those of us in Michigan were shaken by a school shooting in Oxford, MI that you may have seen on the national news.  I’m very grateful to Dr. Lia Gaggino for making time last minute to get together to record with me so we can get this out to you as soon as possible and try to help in some small way.

Dr. Lia Gaggino (IG: @pediatricmeltdown, Twitter: @gagginol) is a primary care pediatrician practicing on the west side of Michigan for over 30 years. From 2015 to 2020, she served as the Kalamazoo-based Bronson Healthcare System medical director of behavioral health implementing Zero Suicide practices and building integrated behavioral health in primary care.

Dr. Gaggino is the founder of Medical Behavioral Health Solutions, LLC offering support to clinicians and systems, and the host of the pediatric meltdown podcast featuring experts on children’s emotional well-being. She currently sits on the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) board of directors, partners closely with the Michigan chapter of the AAP, and is a consultant to the University of Michigan MC3 Child Psychiatry Access Program.

Here are a couple of key takeaways from my conversation with Dr. Gaggino.

1. We truly have to put our own oxygen masks on first. We need to find a balance between our need for new information and our ability to regulate our emotions. You will likely need some time with the tv off and the phones away to reconnect with loved ones to help you maintain your sanity. 
2. For younger kids, you have a little more control over what they consume, so try to limit their exposure to some of the scarier images if you can. Their main priority is going to be their safety, so you may have to offer them more reassurance than you are used to, to help them understand that they are out of harm’s way or that you are going to be with them to help keep them safe.
3. School-aged kids may or may not want to talk about these scary images, but the best way to know is to ask them about it. Even if they don’t take you up on the offer, they will know that you are available when they do have questions, whether it’s about this issue or something else in the future. They may also manifest their fear with misbehavior or sleep challenges. So have some grace when those attention-seeking behaviors start getting worse.
4. Teenagers may be looking for ways to give back, so channeling that energy into your local community or finding ways for them to contribute in some small way 

These conversations are never easy, but your kids will probably have questions, so knowing where reliable sources of information are when it comes to child health, like healthychildren.org from the American Academy of Pediatrics to know where to start. It’s important to be truthful in your interactions with your kids at every age. If you have more questions about how to talk to your kids, please connect with us on social media and let us know how we can help. 

Thanks as always to Phil Rabon, the Producer of the Docs2Dads Podcast.