21. Why Our Words Matter

Originally Aired: April 7, 2022

We are gearing up for our next big series on Development which will include deep dives into all the different areas of development and how dads can use their time with their kids to maximize Developmental Play.

Before we get to that, I wanted to spend some time talking about some wisdom I read in a few different places recently in regards to the words we use with ourselves, our wives, and our kids.  It started with a tweet from Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant (no relation) who said, “You don’t have to agree with everything I think, I don’t even agree with everything I think.” This got me thinking about how often we have thoughts flash in our minds that aren’t even true or aren’t consistent with our preferred worldview. Most of the time, we dismiss these thoughts immediately, but we should not lose sight of the fact that this happens. We will be more likely to recognize that those thoughts are out of place if we are spending time in meditation or prayer to process our thoughts and feelings in a consistent way. 

Then I heard a homily from Fr. Mike Schmitz (host of the popular Bible in a Year Podcast) where he talked about a few more points about the relationship between our thoughts and our words as he reflected on the teaching in Matthew that from the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks. 

It takes a little humility to acknowledge these three points, but I think it will help us all have more successful relationships.

1. Not everything I think needs to be said
2. Not everything I think is true
3. Not everything I think is actually what I think  

So this week, we will take a look at the reasons why our words matter and how we can take control of the way we think about and talk about ourselves, our wives, and our kids.

We will talk about some habits you can develop to take control of these including a mantra I use when I am struggling with my kids’ behavior about getting CURIOUS, not FURIOUS.

We then talk about a framework for determining whether we should say something out loud.
1. Is it true?
2. Is it actually what I believe? and
3. Will it lead to a positive change in the person I am trying to influence by expressing the thought?

I hope you find it helpful.

Today, I have a special request for you. If you found this episode helpful, don’t go leave a five-star review, send it to a buddy who you think will help, that would mean even more to me than the review. And for those of you who have discovered this podcast through a friend,  I’d love for you to reach out to me on social media or shoot me an email at docs2dadspod@gmail.com. I’d love to get to know each of you. There are about 45-50 of you that listen regularly, and you can’t all be my wife, so especially if you and I have never met, I would love to hear from you and about how you found the show. Thanks for listening this week.

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